Written by Lauren Geall

As Stylist’s digital writer, Lauren Geall writes on topics including mental health, wellbeing and women’s issues. She’s also a big fan of houseplants and likes to dabble in film and TV from time-to-time. You can find her on Twitter at @laurenjanegeall.

It’s possible to feel both positive and negative emotions at once – even when the world feels overwhelming.

Whether you’re an avid news reader or prefer to avoid the headlines, you’re probably finding the current political and economic climate quite overwhelming. With the cost-of-living crisis pushing bills ever higher and the Conservative leadership contest casting uncertainty over the next couple of years, it’s normal to be feeling a little sad, angry or anxious right now.

But just because the world feels quite heavy at the moment, doesn’t mean you need to wave goodbye to feeling joy and gratitude.

While no one needs a dose of ‘toxic positivity’ – aka, the idea that you should try and be happy all the time – taking the time to sit with yourself and process your emotions can help you to combine your negative emotions with moments of positivity and joy.  

So, how do you go about doing just that? According to Dora Kamau, a mindfulness teacher at Headspace, just trying to be aware of what you’re feeling is a great place to start.

“Generally speaking, most emotions last for 90 seconds – they come in waves and are transient,” Kamau explains. “One moment we may be experiencing something painful, and the next moment, we may be laughing and experiencing a sense of joy.

“We can recognize joy by allowing those negative feelings to come and go, and giving ourselves full permission to feel how we’re feeling in the moment. What makes emotions last long is rumination, our fixation and overthinking what we’re experiencing in the moment.” 

On top of this, Kamau explains, it’s important to recognise what your brain is paying attention to. The human brain has a natural bias towards negative emotions – it’s a phenomenon experts call the ‘negativity bias’ – and as such, it’s easy to find yourself paying attention to the negatives while ignoring the positives.

Of course, there’s a reason why so many of us are feeling negative right now – and pushing down or avoiding your negative emotions is only going to make you feel worse in the long run. 

Instead, what you want to do is make space for both the positive and the negative feelings, so you’re able to experience the full extent of your emotions. This, Kamau says, is where mindfulness can really help. 

“Because the mind has a natural bias towards negative emotions, often we’re able to spot and identify states of pain, anger or grief much easier than we can joy and happiness. But this is where mindfulness can be powerful by shining a light on how we’re feeling and helping us to recognize joy amidst the anger.

“Mindfulness can help us see that there’s nothing wrong with what we’re feeling and that what matters is how we’re responding and relating to our feelings.”

While mindfulness may sound complicated, it’s actually surprisingly simple. While apps like Headspace are a great way to get started with mindfulness, you don’t need any tools or technology to get started – simply put, mindfulness is just about paying attention to what’s going on with your body and mind. 

For example, that might involve doing some deep breathing with your eyes closed, or sitting down and counting what you can see, hear, taste, smell and touch. These may not seem like big things, but by sitting down, allowing your mind to take a break and trying to turn your attention towards your emotions, you’re giving yourself space to feel.

Kamau explains: “When it comes to allowing ourselves to experience happiness while in a state of upset, we’re giving ourselves the permission to feel what we’re feeling and honouring what we’re feeling as well.

“When we limit our emotional expression, this can create more resistance and tension in the mind and body, which can actually prolong that state of upset. Regardless of the emotions, it’s important that we allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions.”

So, if you’re feeling sad, upset or angry at the moment, know that it’s OK to feel how you’re feeling, but also know that it’s possible to feel joy and happiness, too. Our emotions are not fixed – and while the world around us might feel heavy, it’s OK to make space for levity, too.  

Images: Getty

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